Conversation...

- I failed again! What?! What am I doing wrongly?! - my heart cried.

Silence...

- Will You not tell me? - I looked up in the sky hoping to read something there...

- What did you do? - the question came up.

- Well, You gave me the topic, ideas, and I did it, - I answered.

- How you did it?

- ???

- Who did it?

- What You mean?! I thought it was Your idea!

- Yep, it was mine...

- So? What You mean?

- Did you consulted me how to do it?..

- Well... Kind of...

- You tried to impress them with your wisdome and coolness. You failed just because once again you took the stuff into your hands...

- But...

- I love you, I let you know what I want to do, but I want to do that my way, because as I've already told you whole lot of times that I know the best how to do it. You left me aside and got into your way of implementation.

- But I felt You stand beside me! Wasn't that You.

- Yes, I was, but did you listen to me?

- I don't get it...

- Remember March? I feel sad to feel you are getting away from me again... I want to be in your life not as occassional adviser or just as a generator of ideas for you to become famous and cool. I want my glory to fill your life for MY GLORY, because I won't ever share it with anyone! For I am God, the Creator of heavens and earth, who made all things, and who has given life to you. Write that in your heart, and never forget. I want to fill your life with my spirit, so that you could be free, and happy, and your life would have fullness. I want you to be who you are created for.

That was the end for me... He, God, wants to be in my life. He is not requiring from me to come in His house, to His presence. HE WANTS to be in my life. This is so awesome! Do you feel the difference?! It's not that He is trying to scare us to be in the fear of Him to be with Him. It is not what my God is saying. My God is saying, "I love you. I want to be with you, but if you don't want to be with me, I won't try to force you to do this. I just want you to know that it is better for you to be with me, but it is up to you to decide and choose. I want you to love me. And I know that I cannot force this love, because I want it to be genuine and real." HE WANTS to have relationship with me. HE LOVES me. HE RESPECTS me and IS NOT INTERFERRING with my free will. It is up to me to decide to stay with Him. He extends His hand through Jesus death on the cross, and this is such an exposure how He loves me. It is incredible! It is so difficult for people to believe it. It is such an illusion for many of us. But I choose to come to Him, and stay there, in His presence and full security. This conversation today turned me around to return to Him. We so easily let God's hand go from ours, and loose the track. Thanks God that He knows where I am, and COMES HIMSELF to look for me so that I could come back to the right path. He takes me seriously and thinks I AM WORTH of His attention.