Movie 4 two

I'm stuck... Very very very much badly stuck in this inbetween teritory of decision how to be, where to be... and with whom... Today browsing through some movies I had this thought crossing my mind, 'Some movies are to be watched by two.' Not sure if this is the  real reason, but this thought opened my eyes to the root of why I'm stuck. I'm waiting and I am afraid that if I go, he might come and not find me, and we will miss each other. It's difficult to let go some of the hopes, and it's difficult not to. It's like ripping a piece of raw flesh from your body without any anesthetics. Nevertheless you know that this piece makes you sick and stops you from moving forward, it has also become a vital part of your life. That is why it feels like nothing and no-one will be able to fill that empty hope up, and the wound will never heal up... And I know I'm not Adam, but in my soul I have this reminder of what God's word says,

'...and while he was sleeping, he took one of the man's ribs and then closed up the place with flesh.' 

(Genesis 2:21)

Words of prophesy and prophetical dreams are being reminded to me. Still decision needs to be made and somehow, despite of all the assurance that I get from Him, I'm afraid I will not make it without clinging to the thoughts of the one... I believe I will be able to do that, I will be able to let go him, and let in God, just don't know how long that might take.