Fake vs Authentic

Do you feel the longing to be authentic? Ever? Recently, I pondered this a lot. Who am I? What am I? What kind of person am I? Some people like me, some don't. On what basis? Some people put the demands on you to be some kind of person because you are... a girl. Is there a standard for how a daughter should act or look like? Is there one for a girl? Sometimes I feel like a teenager, and I want to act like one, and when I do that  (maybe not that good as it would be for a teenager) I face reactions of some people which says something like "Act your age" (which is not a teen age). I want to dress in a way that for some do not look feminine... but that is just me. Who said that women should look a certain way for men to get atrracted to them? He was a jerk. I am a woman, and if I need to loose my authenticity to be with a man, I don't need such a guy. I presume that if I am to be with a man, he will have to bear with me the way I am: stubborn at times, strong-willed, totally romantic and tender inside, and you will have to fight for me, baby. Is there a man who doesn't want a "hot" blond chick? I'm sure there is. On the other hand, women have been selling themselves for the pennies of male attention for so long that they started to think that being and acting, and looking certain way will make them happy and ensure a happy family picture for them. I'm not angry, I'm not ugly (of course, that depends on how you look at it), I would say that many guys would describe me as beautiful woman (not being very modest here), just... I want to be who I was meant to be according to God, not to people. When He said that He made me in my mother's womb, He knew what He was doing, my mother didn't. Somehow it happened that in a journey through history of manhood we lost our sense of authenticity of being original. And I don't mean only women. The same is with men. So often we are ashamed of our individuality, of being one-of-a-kind, and started to be somebody else. A whole lot of generations are lost and cursed in "social normality", became unknown people. Grey people. I'm not against of being ordinary person who does his everyday chores. I don't want to say that everybody should seek to be a king or a great leader. What I'm saying is that many of us has lost the joy of being who they want in spite of all the demands from the environment. Most of us despise people who clean the streets. I mean, I don't think that there are many people who actually want that for their occupation. But I'm sure there are people who like to do that, and, e.g. me so often get astonished when someone says that. We think that people always should want to more in life. But what if there was more people who would like to be someone for another person than just seeking bigger things like to make a career or more money, or become famous, etc. Smiling at the cleaner or sweeper, greeting them and being nice to some people who actually do a "dirty" job wouldn't cost us more, but would put some value on the work that at the end of the day is really needed. Otherwise, we would live in a mess.
We learned to be someone we are supposed to be or think is good to be, and there was no one to help us to grow into ones we were created to be. At this point of my adult life, I'm starting a new journey which takes me on a road I know nothing about. Just the feeling that it's a road where my fake identity will be ripped off me, and I will discover who I am in God's eyes. I am created in His image, afterall. It should count for something after any of us meet Jesus personally. Only the One who knows us from the very moment of our conception can tell us what He has created in us.