Priceless

God is amazing how He works everything together, and encourages you (in this case, me:)) from different angles, using people even from the far away countries:) It was like a confirmation for all His speaking during this week that I should not get discouraged in what I'm doing and that everything is fine with people around me, and that everything is fine with me :)) Yes, we are all people. Sometimes as a leader I face this great challenge of getting tired of trying over and over, of keeping smiling, and... being in a leadership position. Sometimes I would just love to advise God to choose somebody else because I don't think I'm capable. There are times when I want to just leave my ministry because I'm failing or nothing changes... Sometimes I start asking God, "Is it worth trying and speaking out the same things over and over?". His answer amazes me and shuts me up - He always shows me the cross and shows me in my past and me today. And the answer is always - YES, IT'S WORTH:) With this, God is always inviting me to look through the purposes why I'm doing what I'm doing, to understand the reason for "the season":)

I was praying the other night, and going through the quizz-for-God thing called "Are you sure, you picked the right girl?":) And the answer was, "I choose the vessels...". I ended it up, "but a vessel has the freedom to choose whether it wants to be filled..." understanding that it is up to me to choose whether I will let God to use me. Do I want to be the unique vessel of God and be used in the ways I have never imagined or do I want to keep being miserable and not capable and comparing myself to someone...? During this 1st month of the new decade God has been showing me a whole lot of times that He doesn't need perfect people to complete His work on the Earth, that He is the perfect God who enables us to do things beyond our understanding... I don't need to be perfect all knowing girl to get the right husband, I don't need to be a perfect wife or Mom or friend or teacher or leader. All I really need is to make myself available for God to fill me with what He has prepared for me, to be open to Him... simply to believe that I have everything I need to have for Him to work through me. And to believe that, I need to trust Him. And I can trust Him only if I know that He accepts me the way that I am. And I know that He accepts me only when I know that He loves me unconditionally. And I know that He loves me unconditionally in Christ whom He send and let Him die for my inadequacies and transgressions before I was even born knowing that I will make all the mistakes I have made. It's humbling when you understand that God waits only for your decision to be available for Him, and He will start enabling you the very minute you will do that... It's an awesome feeling when you understand that our creative God has a plan and purpose for EVERYBODY. It doesn't matter how small and unimportant you might feel, He sees deeper than that. He knows what He has put in you. And He never doubts about His choice...