Getting deeper and wider

It seems that 2 Thursdays ago God just wanted to let me know about His love for me even more, to the depth that I had never thought He did loved me, and cared for me. It was the day when I suddenly felt back to my teenhood. It was time when the door for receiving love, understanding and simple relationship were shut, and life became more complicated than it had to be. That day I made the most disruptive decision of my life - that I'm not important, that people who are dare to me do not care about me, and they don't hear me, they don't care about my questions.

2 weeks ago I told God that I feel as if that time has just came back. I felt tough, and I knew it was time to talk to God, but I was just delaying the time for prayer, walking from one corner to another, and trying to avoid to hear what He wanted me to tell me. Finally, I gave up... I sat of the sofa and began to talk to Him about what was going in my mind and my heart... Suddenly, I heard His voice saying, "You are important to me. I hear you. And I heard you back then." The room filled up with cry in which you could feel the mixture of emotions: gratefulness, grief, joy, pity... I cried for almost half an hour. I never thought that it would be so important for my heart to hear those words. It seemed that the most painful thing came out in the light to be healed by the gracious hand of God. I needed freedom, I needed the release from the prison of bitterness and defensiveness I was in for so long. It seemed that a waft of fresh air filled me in, and suddenly all my life was painted in totally different colours. Or maybe my eyes were opened. I was taken out of the darkness of the land called DESPAIR, HOPELESS, MISTRUST, SCEPTISISM. Well, it seems I was the citizen of several countries:) There is nothing more wonderful than to be free from captivity of negativity. There is nothing more wonderful than to know that there is always someone who will hear your every cry, who will know your every thought, and every doubt, every pain, every desperation. Who will always be there for you. Who will tell you, "Don't be afraid, I'm here with you. No one can harm you." The most wonderful thing is that God respects and loves me so much that He haven't intruded with all these comforting words ahead of time, but knew exactly when I will need to hear those words, and they will make the most impact on me. I JUST LOVE THE WAY HE LOVES PEOPLE. He is so gentle, so on-time, so understanding, so comporting that no words can express that... At least, I don't find enough or the right one... I'm in awe!!! And I' more in love with Him than ever. He is my man:))