A friend of mine wrote me quite a desperate letter about his difficulty to communicate with God. God really knows how I understand him, because I have been into the same situation, into that despair of not being worthy of God’s love, and just wanted to share some thoughts that came out when writing him back.
We all are sinners, but we are saved by grace if we accept Jesus. Now it seems so simple, but back then it was so difficult to understand HOW (!!!) someone can accept you with all the dirt you have in yourself! I couldn’t accept myself like that, I tried to EXPLAIN, find arguments, just to make myself righteous in MY eyes. This sounds so stupid now, but then it sounded really reasonably. Why not? Otherwise, we feel so unworthy to go to see our Father in Heaven. What I wrote to that friend of mine was that recently God showed me, reminded me several important things:
- first, that it is all Satan’s attempts to draw us back from God though making us see our imperfections so big that we begin to think that we are not worthy to go to Heaven, and see God face to face.
- secondly, that the most amazing thing is that IT IS NOT FOR YOU TO DECIDE WHETHER YOU ARE WORTHY TO GO TO HEAVEN OR NOT :) It is not Satan that swallows us (my friend was asking a prayer not be swallowed by Satan), it is US who give up in trusting the everlasting love of God, it is us who listen to Satan's lies more that to God's promises. GOD made a promise that everyone who believes in His Son, will not see death, and will be saved. That is it. He cannot refuse from Himself... Do you understand this? He said, "I love you, Kristina, Michael, Sybile, etc. I love you so much, that I am going to die for you on the cross so that you can have free path through my blood for getting home, for getting where you actually belong". And He has done that. Dot. You cannot change it, you cannot change the past:) You have it just because God so loved you that "gave His beloved Son" for you, and He is not taking His word back. When God says something, it happens (Phil Dooley's words:)), and His word becomes flesh, becomes reality, because…
- thirdly, God never does anything that is not worth doing. Yes, you are worthy to go to hell because you are sinful. So am I, so is everyone on this earth, but YOU ARE WORTHY OF GOD'S LOVE BECAUSE GOD THINK IT IS TO BE LIKE THAT. If you hold on to Jesus, you are forgiven. Jesus has died for all your transgressions long before they happened. It happened despite the fact that He knew that it will happen. I am almost sure, I would never die for myself if I knew what kind of person I was, and how it will be difficult to get my heart right into position it is now. There would have be no hope for that. But God so loved the world despite all the evil things that are happening now, that He decided to redeem us, He decided to save the rest of the ones who will believe in Him and His word.
- fourth and very important thing is that I cannot talk any person into believing. It is very personal, and you have to go into this alone. It is very good when you have a support, but in many cases it happens like it happened to me – when I was completely alone in my little room. And y
ou cannot help God to do change things of your life, except if it is opening the doors to Him. All the rest is His job, and He gladly takes it:) He is the only one who can clean up your drains from the filth that stinks to you. And He can do that to the extent that you would like to live there:)) That's when He helps you to love yourself for who you really are - the wonderful creation of His hands.
So often, Satan is just playing with your hard feelings, reminding all the things you've done wrong and keeping you pitting yourself, but God doesn't see any of these because of Jesus blood on the cross. You think you are not worthy of this kind of acceptance? Well, I will repeat what I have told you in the beginning IT IS NOT YOU WHO DECIDES ABOUT BEING WORTHY OR NOT. God decided that you are long time ago;) So, just enjoy your time in His fellowship;)
We all are sinners, but we are saved by grace if we accept Jesus. Now it seems so simple, but back then it was so difficult to understand HOW (!!!) someone can accept you with all the dirt you have in yourself! I couldn’t accept myself like that, I tried to EXPLAIN, find arguments, just to make myself righteous in MY eyes. This sounds so stupid now, but then it sounded really reasonably. Why not? Otherwise, we feel so unworthy to go to see our Father in Heaven. What I wrote to that friend of mine was that recently God showed me, reminded me several important things:
- first, that it is all Satan’s attempts to draw us back from God though making us see our imperfections so big that we begin to think that we are not worthy to go to Heaven, and see God face to face.
- secondly, that the most amazing thing is that IT IS NOT FOR YOU TO DECIDE WHETHER YOU ARE WORTHY TO GO TO HEAVEN OR NOT :) It is not Satan that swallows us (my friend was asking a prayer not be swallowed by Satan), it is US who give up in trusting the everlasting love of God, it is us who listen to Satan's lies more that to God's promises. GOD made a promise that everyone who believes in His Son, will not see death, and will be saved. That is it. He cannot refuse from Himself... Do you understand this? He said, "I love you, Kristina, Michael, Sybile, etc. I love you so much, that I am going to die for you on the cross so that you can have free path through my blood for getting home, for getting where you actually belong". And He has done that. Dot. You cannot change it, you cannot change the past:) You have it just because God so loved you that "gave His beloved Son" for you, and He is not taking His word back. When God says something, it happens (Phil Dooley's words:)), and His word becomes flesh, becomes reality, because…
- thirdly, God never does anything that is not worth doing. Yes, you are worthy to go to hell because you are sinful. So am I, so is everyone on this earth, but YOU ARE WORTHY OF GOD'S LOVE BECAUSE GOD THINK IT IS TO BE LIKE THAT. If you hold on to Jesus, you are forgiven. Jesus has died for all your transgressions long before they happened. It happened despite the fact that He knew that it will happen. I am almost sure, I would never die for myself if I knew what kind of person I was, and how it will be difficult to get my heart right into position it is now. There would have be no hope for that. But God so loved the world despite all the evil things that are happening now, that He decided to redeem us, He decided to save the rest of the ones who will believe in Him and His word.
- fourth and very important thing is that I cannot talk any person into believing. It is very personal, and you have to go into this alone. It is very good when you have a support, but in many cases it happens like it happened to me – when I was completely alone in my little room. And y
ou cannot help God to do change things of your life, except if it is opening the doors to Him. All the rest is His job, and He gladly takes it:) He is the only one who can clean up your drains from the filth that stinks to you. And He can do that to the extent that you would like to live there:)) That's when He helps you to love yourself for who you really are - the wonderful creation of His hands.So often, Satan is just playing with your hard feelings, reminding all the things you've done wrong and keeping you pitting yourself, but God doesn't see any of these because of Jesus blood on the cross. You think you are not worthy of this kind of acceptance? Well, I will repeat what I have told you in the beginning IT IS NOT YOU WHO DECIDES ABOUT BEING WORTHY OR NOT. God decided that you are long time ago;) So, just enjoy your time in His fellowship;)
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