Winning and losing

Battles are always an ugly stuff. We try to avoid it, but either we want that or not, we are always in the battle field called LIFE OR DEATH. I'm not talking about physical death or existence in biological form. I am always reminded of Jesus' words that He will give us life abundantly. What did He mean? Nikodemus also had this question when Jesus said that a man has to be born again. It all refers to the terminology of Heaven. You have to choose either Life or Death, Heaven or Hell, Jesus or Satan. I mean that you are choosing anyway, because if you are not choosing Life, you are choosing to die... Spiritually. If you are not choosing Jesus, you are kind of saying "yes" to Satan. I have noticed that human being cannot be just by himself or herself. He (or she) is always in someone's hands. I guess, attempts to find meaning of life, a huge variety of religions is kind of indicator that we know that we do not fully own our lives. But there is the only one who said, "I am the Truth, the Way, and the Life". No one else dared:) They might have said that "if you live by my teaching you will find life", but Jesus said that HE himself is LIFE. And He also said, that those who choose to follow Him will have life abundantly. That is the most difficult part for many people, even Christians. It is not so difficult to live according to the law of God at some point. But to follow Jesus is like to choose to disown your own opinion, judgements, and understanding. It is not about not having opportunity or right (that is a very popular word nowadays) to choose. This amazes me the most that God is never taking this from us - the right to decide with whom to stay, whom to follow. Today I am discovering that I am choosing to follow Christ with complete submission of my will to God's will because I have seen and experienced that everything He is doing in my life is good for me and others. I give up my will for His will willingly. That is the craziest thing ever for anyone to understand... And I know that no one will understand the fact that I am giving up opportunity to go for a job in my favorite city in Europe. It is really not easy to give up this opportunity but I feel liberated when I choose this way, when I choose to stay in my country to be God's vessel for the people of my country. That doesn't mean that I will become someone here, but I will stay in peace. I know that someone will definitely say that I am an idiot, but... I feel free. Sometimes when you loose, you win...