Letting go...

Sometimes it seems that life is getting out of your hands over and over. Now the time has come again... What does it show? I haven't given certain spheres to my Creator and Saviour to be the Chief and Commander. It is always like that: you are going in circles like Israelites did in the desert. God does wants to put you in the promised land, just you keep going off the track. I am surprised by God's patience. It is so difficult to walk in faith, to step into unknown with nothing in your hands but faith and trust in the One who alone is able to keep your head above the water. The most amasing thing for me about God is that He is waiting because He knows that I will make the step forward - towards Him and will grab His hand. He knows how tied we are to the worldly stuff and how big the control issues are in our hearts. Letting go is difficult, but not impossible. What is really important to God is us not giving up trying: stumbling, falling, but still getting up. If I didn't have this trust in Him, this wonderful conviction of Holy Spirit that He who began the work in us is faithful and will finish it until the day of Christ coming back, I wouldn't have survived and would have drawn back. I'm waiting for the moment I will not be afraid to step over my fear...